Christmas Confessions from Afghanistan

Its been a few weeks since I've written. While it was on my mind a lot, the words just never came. Christmas was a bit lonely in Afghanistan. Natalie and I made the most of it by spending time with our Country Director, cooking together and sitting by the fire. We reminisced on the last seven months of life together, pondering the challenges and the many things we've learned thus far.

It was exactly a month ago when we were boarding our flight in Des Moines with Mazar-i-Sharif as our final destination, and this has become the longest we've been in any one place since we got married. We moved to Grinnell, Iowa, but spent time in Kansas City, Tennessee, Illinois, and a short trip through Iraq and Afghanistan before actually moving here. Hard to believe all that's taken place!

Traditions typically aren't my thing. I tend to keep to myself when people go jolly nuts over any particular holiday or rant on the 'correct' way to carry out certain events, but this year was a little different. Well, maybe not completely different in the sense that I've become some sort of ecstatic holiday-lover, but I missed my family's traditions-- namely, going to my Grandparents on Christmas Eve, and then sitting with my parents, brothers, my sister and her family, and our wonderful Indian brother and his family afterwards. Now that I have a wife, I also longed to enjoy their traditions and partake in the laughter I'm certain took place in their home.

For the first time, I was quite sad at the limited options I had in the realm of giving. I've always enjoyed giving, but never felt the same pangs of restriction as I did this time (which has made me wonder how much I've given truly out of good will and not just as a social pressure, etc.). Mazar isn't the easiest place to find your wife the things you would like to get her. But, I managed to buy her (us) a twenty year old hand-made carpet from the bazaar. It was quite the experience. I had three cups of tea and spoke with the gentleman for an hour or more before finally settling on the one I bought. I believe I'll visit him again before we leave.

So, the season brought about three confessions.

1. I am not as much of an independent loner as I sometimes make out to be. 
2. I am not much of a traditionalist, but actually missed some tradition this year. 
3. And I'm not sure I've ever given quite as honestly or joyfully as I did this year (and plan to upon our return). 

A belated cheers to you all this Christmas and happy new year!